Unpacking imposter syndrome

I have read a lot of articles about imposter syndrome.

Some of my favorites say, “don’t try to get rid of it, get good at it.”

“Imposter syndrome is a sign you’re playing a bigger game.”

“Imposter syndrome is inevitable and a sign of growth.”

Malcolm Gladwell even thinks imposter syndrome is an attractive quality in a potential candidate for hire.

He says he wouldn’t hire someone if they didn’t feel imposter syndrome, because it means they aren’t going to try as hard as someone who does.

I think that makes a lot of sense.

Imposter syndrome does tend to produce adrenaline and a willingness to prove yourself, even if you are the only person who needs to be convinced.

But what I have never read about is the more primal need that imposter syndrome points to.

And that is the need to belong.

Imposter syndrome is really asking the question, “do I belong in this room?”

Every single human on the planet has the need to belong.

It is the social, emotional, and contextual aspect of how we define ourselves.

If identity gets at “who am I?,” belonging asks, “where do I fit in?”

So imposter syndrome is causing you to size up the people around you in your new or potentially new group and assess whether or not you fit in.

It is worth mentioning that if your identity isn’t solid, this can also interfere with questions of belonging. So make sure you aren’t confusing who you are with where you fit in.

The measures you are using to assess others around you and your own fit is important, and some measures aren’t as useful as others.

1. Assessing others’ and your own accomplishments

   Chances are, you are looking at their accomplishments, titles, or some other indicator of success (status and money come to mind).

   In this case, you might not think that your accomplishments “fit” with theirs.

   I would argue that if we could go through your professional history, I could draw out some pretty impressive accomplishments of your own.

   So that thought you have is probably not true, but, it is trying to keep you safe.

   So good job you, but I’m not going to let you stay there.

2. Assessing others’ and your own actions

   I bet what you aren’t thinking about is how those people created the results that seem so impressive to you.

   If we did a deep dive into how anyone produces a certain result, we’d have to look at:

   • how you manage uncertainty

   • the influence you bring to shape outcomes

   • the strategy that determines your specific approach to any action taken

   • the mindset, beliefs, and POV that inform your actions

   • the process used

   • the energy you get from various types of activities

   If we could draw out all the factors that have contributed to your professional success, while the profile may be different in the specifics from the others you are comparing yourself to, I bet yours is equally impressive.

   3. Assessing others’ and your own values and beliefs

   I’m almost certain you aren’t assessing the things that are most important to you in work and life as your point of comparison

   with others.

   But, m a y b e i t s h o u l d b e .

   Because values and beliefs are exactly the thing that make us feel like we belong to a particular group.

   If you were to ask the people in the room you don’t feel like you belong in what they value most in their work, the answers might not be so different from yours.

   Here’s a hypothetical list: if you value things like excellence, service, being a contribution, and those are shared values by others in the room, all of a sudden that sense of not belonging fades, and you begin to see yourself like those around you.

   Feeling that sense of shared values then produces a feeling of belonging.

   And if your values don’t align, that is something to take seriously and ask yourself the question if you even want to be in that room.

The next time you are facing a new opportunity or challenge, the feeling of imposter syndrome and the mental sharpness it produces to prove yourself might not go away, and in fact, if used properly it will serve you well and help you rise to the occasion of the challenge ahead of you.

But, if you can find alignment around values and beliefs with those in the new room, rest assured that you indeed belong. You’ll bring everything that’s needed for the challenge ahead. I know it.

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels

When is the last time you felt imposter syndrome, and how did it help or hurt you in stepping into the new opportunity?

Love,

Audrey