Need some perspective?
The human brain is fascinating.
In the early years of life, your brain takes in enormous amount of information.
Things like the smell of family members, the shadows cast by the sunlight, who can be relied on, and what you need to do to survive.
Your brain forms shortcuts with this information, so you can begin to do things unconsciously and free up mental space for new discoveries.
These shortcuts, or mental maps, can also cause you to lose your sense of wonder.
This loss is one of the primary differences between childhood and adulthood.
When you aren’t wondering, you take things for granted.
You allow your default setting to lead. And this is problematic.
My guess is your default is one of the following ways of seeing the world:
Comfort & safety
You avoid risk, avoid discomfort, and avoid putting yourself in situations that might cause you to grow and stretch.
Competition
You think that life is a competition, and if you aren’t competing with others, you are losing. This erodes trust and causes you to view others as adversaries rather than allies.
Comparison
You measure your own success by comparing yourself to others. You have ceded your definition of success to the mainstream.
Fear/anxiety/worry
You are constantly imaging what could go wrong and worse case scenarios. Your ability to see possibility has narrowed because everything feels like a threat.
Lies about who you are
Somewhere along the way, you internalized beliefs about your self-concept that are punishing. Things like “I’m not good enough, I could never (fill in the blank), I’m a let down, If they really knew me, they wouldn’t love me.” These are lies, but they run through your head constantly.
Measurement/expectation about what “should be”
Similar to comparison, someone you looked up to had some standards for how you “should” live, and those shoulds continue to box you in, robbing you of any joy in living.
Scarcity Mindset
This type of thinking has you saying things like “there’s never enough time,” “I could never afford that,” and often has you making decisions rooted in fear.
Striving
You feel like you are on the hamster wheel, and no matter how hard you work, how much you accomplish, how much success you attain, it never feels enough. You are driven by the insidious myth “I’ll be happy when…..”
Stuck in the Past
This one can be one of two things: A) you feel like your best days are behind you, or B) you are full of resentment and resignation and can’t move on from something that hurt you. Regardless you have little hope for the future.
Survival
Your actions are rooted in self-protection because everything feels like a threat. You are a victim and life is out to get you.
Phew. What a list. But I bet at least one of these struck a chord.
So how do you get out of the pattern you are in?
You need some perspective!
The good news is, while it may be out of practice, you HAVE the ability to rekindle some perspective.
That tool is WONDER.
Photo by PUSCAU DANIEL FLORIN on Pexels
It is something that used to come naturally to you.
And now maybe you can begin to cultivate it again.
Need a step-by-step?
Easy. Get in touch with your senses.
In this moment, feel your feet on the ground, or your backside in the chair.
Take a breath, feel the air fill your lungs.
Notice the furtherest sound from you.
Let your gaze fix on something beautiful.
Taste your next meal with such intense focus that each bite is savored.
The reason your senses lead to wonder is that they help you to notice.
Before you can wonder, you have to first notice.
And just linger there for a moment.
And then, wait for your next thought.
Is it one of new possibility, or is it the old thinking nagging at you?
Not to worry if it’s an old thought.
Go back to your senses.
Keep doing this until your brain can settle, you know you are safe, and your mind can move into a place of possibility.
And if you need a prompt, try this: “What do I need to know right now?”
Love,
Audrey
